She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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