Who did Billy Mays play for?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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