Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize