grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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