stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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