He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
