Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
