I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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