She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
vagina is talking i cant
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
