But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
