I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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