I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
