If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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