i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
