If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i was born a porn star she said
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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