you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
