If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Randomize
