Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
