Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
