I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
