i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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