who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
i drank out of a bidet.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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