she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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