I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
