we're blogging at a bar
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
