yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
