This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
