I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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