I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
