i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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