Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
