was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
