doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
