if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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