its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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