thus making me awesome and them whores
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
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