i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
