She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
We are all done wearing pants today
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
