Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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