sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
