you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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