I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
