Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
