3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
