I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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