It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
