his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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