But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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