dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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