There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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